Need a Pastor?

I have been at camps for 3 of the last 4 weeks. The 4th of the last 4 weeks I was in Canada. It was great. More on that later.

Check this out. There is a pastor-guy selling himself on eBay in the hope of finding a church that is “untraditional and ready to reach their community.”

See the listing here.

HT: MMI

Blog Rant

I have been thinking about this all day. Can’t keep it in any longer. Here are some things I hate about the blogs of some folks, specifically the blogs of ministers and church planters.

•  Every Sunday, on their blog, promises to be the best Sunday ever at XYZ Church. At first I was like, “Cool. They have some neat things going on.” Then, after the 100th time the minister promised the biggest and best Sunday was coming up at XYZ, I just ignored him. Be honest. Sometimes you have sucky Sundays too.
• Reflection/Ramble posts. You know, the ones where they pick a topic and then vomit their thoughts about that topic into a blog post. It goes like this:
  • Had church today.
  • It was the best service we have ever had. Even better than last week.
  • The chairs in the gym were crooked. And the video projector hiccuped once during the service. Seriously, how can we worship when the projector is hiccuping?
  • I love the band that plays at our church. I know…I said that last week too, but I just love those guys. They are off the hook.
• Phrases that are used over and over again in every blog post. Like “off the hook.” What does that even mean?
• Name dropping. Good blog etiquette would have a blogger to link to other blogs when you are referencing them or talking about them. For example, if I want to say something nice about my wife, I would link. But, it drives me crazy to read a blog post that has a list of all the people that person saw one day and they are all linked. Almost every other word is blue. Church planters are the worst. When they go to one of their cool conferences (with cool buzzword names, like “Catalyst” and “Elevation” and so on) they talk about all the people they meet or heard speak and their blog posts look bluer than the sky. I love church planters, but c’mon.
• Long lists of bullet points on a blog. Yuk.
• End rant.

YoungMinisters.com-Funeral Service Based on our Life’s Story

This is a great message submitted by my friend Robert.

The message shares lessons that we can learn from the deceased if we read their “life’s story.”

64 Things…

Brian Jones posted last week about 64 things that he wished someone had told him about ministry 10 years ago. You can read the entire post here.

I’d like to highlight my favorites for you.

#11 The secret to growing a church is three words: steal, steal, steal. M. Twain—“The secret to originality is to conceal your sources.”

#17 Never use negative illustrations about your family—you create the church’s impression of them.

#21 If you don’t have money to give raises, give raises in time off.

#30 My best outreach—coaching my kids’ sports teams.

#51 Kill your invitation hymn and have your Senior Pastor say, “We’re glad you’re here. If question, I’ll be down here. If new, I’d like to meet you. If prayer…”

#54 When you have no staff, identify your five most important departments, interview the most qualified volunteers in your church and “hire them” by giving them titles. Meet once a week for staff meeting in an evening. That’s how churches 200 and below grow fast.

#56 Pick up a vice like cigar smoking or playing poker. The normal people in your church will thank you for it.

#61 If forced to choose, choose to offend the Christian before you choose to offend the non-Christian (ex. we offered a cash bar at a Comedy night we recently hosted).

YoungMinisters.com-Practical Tidbit; Don’t Ignore the Hard Parts

Another.

YoungMinisters.com-Practical Tidbit; Be Balanced

Another tidbit.

YoungMinisters.com-Practical Tidbit; Bible Translations

This is a tidbit about Bible translations. You can read a fascinating discussion about Bible translations on this blog here.

Don’t get too in the habit of using multiple Bible versions in your sermons. Chances are, someone is thinking to themselves: “I wonder if he is just using whatever version comes closest to what he is trying to say?” This is unfortunate, but true. Find a reliable version, and, as much as possible, stick with it.

[Tidbit submitted by Brandon Smith, editor of YoungMinisters.com]

YoungMinisters.com-Practical Tidbit; Retirement

Another tidbit.

YoungMinisters.com-Practical Tidbit; Create a Budget

Another tidbit; this one about budgeting.

YoungMinisters.com-Practical Tidbit; Avoid Debt

Here is the first of several Practical Tidbits, brought here from YoungMinisters.com. Enjoy!