I Believe…Only Help My Unbelief

As some of you know, having a baby is quite expensive. My family technically does not have insurance, but we are members of a group of Christians who help each other with medical bills. That being said, when we go to the doctor or have a baby, we tell them we are uninsured and that we will be paying out of pocket. Then, we submit those needs to our group of Christian friends and they help us meet those expenses.

When we had Simeon 3 months ago, the first wave of bills came to around $8,000. That’s a lot. In our group, if the needs amount to more than the available money, you may only get 75% or 85% of what you need back. We have been praying that God would allow us to receive 100% back to ease our burden.

Yesterday, in the mail, I received a letter stating we would be receiving 100% of our money. I said, “Praise God.” That was at 4:10pm.

At 4:15pm, Keri said that Simeon is going to need to do some pediatric physical therapy to help with a muscle in his neck he is having problems with. She said each time we take him to the therapist, it will cost between $210 and $250.

I flipped out.

All of these thoughts started going through my head: “Where will we find that kind of money? How are we going to swing this? Which of our three kids won’t get to eat one week?” (That last one is a joke.)

And then later that night, it struck me. God had just done an amazing thing–He provided almost $8,000 for our medical bills at 4:10pm. Then, at 4:15pm, I was worried about how we were going to come up with $250 each time Simeon goes to the therapist.

Where is my faith? How could I lose so much of it in the course of 5 minutes?

In Mark 9, there is a father whose son has an evil spirit. He takes the boy to Jesus and says, “If you can do anything, please help us.” Jesus says, “If I can do anything…?” Of course Jesus can do anything. Jesus replies by saying, “Anything is possible for one who believes.”

The father’s next statement is amazing:

I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief.

I am that guy. And faith is in motion. We are constantly moving. If we have just a seed of faith, it’s enough for Jesus to do something amazing. But we can’t just leave it there…we have to let that seed grow into more. I believe…the seed. But help my unbelief…let it grow into more.

By the way, this is post #100 for this blog. I wanted it to be meaningful. Thanks for reading.


8 thoughts on “I Believe…Only Help My Unbelief

  1. I can’t point any fingers at ya’ on this one, Brandon, I’ve done the exact same thing. Sometimes our enemy’s best cheap-shots come right after a significant win or God-sighting.

    You’re aimed at the right verse… “Help me.” Thank the Lord for His supply in a large way, humbly ask Him for this day’s supply, and relax in Him. (so easy to say, isn’t it?)

    You’re not going to be His first failure.


  2. Hi Brandon,
    I was just wondering if you had looked into Nebraska’s Childfind program at all to see if Simeon might qualify for physical therapy services through them? I am working with Childfind out in Colorado. Childfind serves children birth-3 that have some sort of delay or disability that affects their development. They can receive services such as speech therapy, OT, PT, etc. and it is provided free of charge in the families home. It is part of the IDEA law that requires states to serve children 0-21 in need of early intervention. In Colorado, we hold screening clinics once a month. You could contact the Nebraska Childfind offices to see how they screen kids–I am uncertain if their process is the same as in Colorado. Not all delays will qualify for services, but it is worth looking into!

  3. Phil–thanks so much for stopping by and sharing some great words. Isn’t it funny…when things go so well we are so quick to say Hallelujah and then when things get bad (even if only minutes later!) we freak out and say Where Are You God?

    I don’t feel bad though…King David to do the same in his Psalms. I take comfort in that thought.

  4. Kelly is right on the mark…wasn’t thinking because in different state. We also provide services through our county health department. We have evaluation sites then if the child qualifies, services will be provided….for free to parents/child! You can also check through the pediatrician how it works in your area.

  5. Pingback: Again, He Provides « MyNameIsBrandon.com

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