i feel crappy for feeling crappy // why is it hard to keep perspective?

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every once in awhile, this space is used to help me process and vocalize some of the thoughts running through my head. it makes me feel better to think out loud.

today is one of those days.

the attendance at our gatherings at the Christian Campus House right now are low. and that’s got me feeling…well, you guessed it…pretty low.

it’s frustrating. it’s disheartening. it’s confusing.

  • and it’s hard not to wonder if it’s me.
  • and it’s hard not to think we must be doing something wrong.
  • and it’s hard not to compare our ministry to other ministries on campus.
  • and it’s hard not to feel inferior.
  • and it’s hard to remember that we are more than the sum of our parts.
  • and it’s hard to keep perspective.
  • and it’s hard not to be jealous of what i see going on in other campus ministries.
  • and it’s hard to remember that Jesus changed the world with only 12. and even 1 of those guys bailed.

and i feel crappy for feeling crappy.

because there are some amazing things going on at the campus house.

  • most of our students are completing a 21 Days of Prayer challenge.
  • most of our students are headed to nashville this weekend for our spring break mission trip.
  • most of our students are connected to a communitas group.
  • most of our students are going to haiti in may to love on and serve the least of these.
  • there are five or six students connected to the campus house who are genuinely searching for Christ and the life he offers.
  • five international students are going to nashville with us. (the mission of the mission trip is to build relationships with, and invest in, international students in hopes of sharing the gospel.)
  • two students were baptized into Christ a few weeks ago.

but those aren’t the things i wake up thinking about on wednesday mornings.

why is it so hard to maintain a healthy perspective?
why am i so quick to remember numbers and not so quick to remember impact?
why can’t i transfer what i know in my head to what i know in my heart?

just keeping it real. what are you struggling with today?

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One thought on “i feel crappy for feeling crappy // why is it hard to keep perspective?

  1. It’s so easy to get sucked in by stuff that’s not going the way I wish it would – stuff that I don’t have control over or responsibility for. Sounds like you really do have some awesome stuff going on their – don’t forget. When I forget is when I sink into a funk. Last year, I was in a similar funk and wrote a couple posts about what I could do when everything sucks: http://theoquest.blogspot.com/2011/09/what-do-you-do-when-everything-sucks-pt… Mostly just a tongue in cheek adjustment to my own perspective.

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