i simply take up space in the Kingdom

Not well? What is illness to the body of a knight-errant? What matter wounds? For each time he falls, he shall rise again, and woe to the wicked.
–Don Quixote in The Man of La Mancha

the theme God keeps bringing me back to is one of grace upon grace. i don’t know that i will ever understand this kind of love. and if i am honest, it’s hard for me to accept that anyone loves me…especially the God to whom i am accountable.

you see, i’m afraid i let my previous sins handcuff me. i am rendered ineffective. i simply take up space in the Kingdom. 

and when this happens, the Enemy doesn’t get nervous when my feet hit the floor in the morning. he isn’t threatened by me. he doesn’t really have to pay me much attention.

this quote by the beautiful and tragic Don Quixote in The Man of La Mancha reminds me of a few things i can’t afford to forget. perhaps they will serve you well.

// i will fall.
no matter how hard i strive, how far i go, or how good i think i am…i will fall. often. and a lot.

// i will be wounded.
it’s hard to keep falling and not hurt yourself. i learn this every time i go mountain biking; i fall and land on the same spot over and over again. it hurts. it’s almost enough to make me not want to get back on the bike. but…

// i must always get up.
what good am i in the Kingdom if i fail to get up? dwelling on my wounds keep them from becoming scars and scars are tangible evidence of healing. getting up speeds the healing process.

// nothing conquers our foe like the grace of God.
our Enemy wins if we stay chained to the sins of our past. it’s the grace of our Father that lifts us up, sets us back on our feet, and throws us back into the battle. and nothing is more threatening to the dominion of darkness than a bunch of freed captives, wrapped in the light of grace, taking back ground.

today, i vow to loose the chains of previous sin.
i vow to get up, dust myself off, and get back in the arena.
i vow to tell the stories of my wounds to scars.

woe to the wicked.

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One thought on “i simply take up space in the Kingdom

  1. The template for the Judge archetype in Jewish-Christian culture largely derives from King Solomon, who was notable for balancing justice and compassion. So thoroughly do we maintain this ancient template that Solomon’s characteristic balancing is now the standard by which we measure all judges. Those who manipulate or disgrace justice or violate this creed are held to be social and moral criminals, having damaged the honor of the courtroom and the nation, and the archetype itself. For that reason, this archetype should be understood as one that has the vision to manage the fair distribution of power in whatever form it takes, from violating military codes to breaking marriage vows.

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