4 things to KNOW instead of FEEL

i’ve written quite a bit about how dangerous it is to trust what you feel. (read some here, here, here, and here). our hearts are deceptive. therefore, when faced with a choice between trusting what you feel and trusting what you know…i’m going to try and go with what i know to be true.

today, here are four things i want to know, even though they are sharply contrasting to what i feel. maybe you want to know these things too?

1) i know i need to pray.
prayer has always been a challenge for me. i think some of that stems from my role in ministry: i was always the “official pray-er” at every church and ministry event i attended. maybe i felt like i didn’t need to pray anymore?

notice what i wrote there? maybe i felt like i didn’t need to pray anymore.

i know i need to pray. i know that communication (both talking and listening) is vital to the development of any relationship. i know God wants to hear from me. i know God has a lot he would like to tell me. i know the discipline of prayer would be good for me…it would force me to slow down and quiet down.

2) i know i need to love others.
my kids. my co-workers. the guests who sit at my tables at Applebee’s. the unbeliever i really like and the Christian i don’t like at all.

no matter who it is or how i feel about them…i know i need to love. not just like. or get along with. or tolerate.

Jesus calls us to love our enemies, but i don’t feel like i have any of those. it might be just as hard to love those you feel apathetic towards. and i know i need more of the Spirit to do this well. see #1.

3) i know God is close.
it’s easy to forget how close God is when you have one arm full of hot plates of food, the other hand with a check to be dropped, two tables who need drink refills, and the expectations your managers, staff, and guests have for you to be perfect.

it’s easy to forget how close God is when you have 3 kids screaming at you and each other, 2 kids wrestling on the couch, and 1 kid waking up cranky from a nap with the worst kind of bedhead.

it’s easy to forget how close God is when your bills are past due, your friends ignore you, your dreams abandon you, and your heart is breaking.

he. just. doesn’t. feel. close.

but. i. know. better.

if anything, on my better days, i may be more aware of God’s closeness in the chaos of my full house and full restaurant than i was in ministry. at the very least, i am definitely more aware of my need for his closeness.

4) i know i’m not a big deal.
i think everyone likes being a big deal. our culture makes a big deal out of becoming a big deal.

i felt like a big deal in the previous season of my life. i was leading a growing ministry. i was sought after to speak in lots of churches and at lots of functions. i had successfully funded a book project, partnering with hundreds of people.

i felt like a big deal.

and i let my big deal-ness define  me. (but more on that another day.)

when you think you’re a big deal, you have to make decisions that help you stay a big deal. you don’t make decisions out of faithfulness or humility or for the benefits of others. you make decisions to help you maintain your rock star status.

here is what i know today: i’m not a big deal. i never have been. and that truth is incredibly liberating. it frees me to be a child of God, a husband to Keri, and a father to my gaggle of children. it allows me to be a lowly server at the neighborhood bar and grill.

i wasn’t making much of a lasting splash when i felt like i was a big deal. now that i know i am not a big deal, i receive the grace to try again and hope for a bigger splash for my family, my guests, and for the little corner of the Kingdom in which i reside.

worship songs with objectionable lyrics

one of my favorite people in the world, whom i have never actually met, is jennifer taylor. she’s a great thinker and a fantastic writer. and she loves andrew peterson, whom i also love…but not in that way. 

these last few weeks, jen has written a couple of blogposts that i love. it’s like she snuck into my head, found a hidden container of thoughts that i’ve been reluctant to verbalize, and then wrote them down for the world to see.

if you have been around me much at all, you know i have some issues (ok, a lot of issues) with most of the worship songs we sing. they are just too…touchy-feely for me. and i’m a hugger. but these are too much for me.

anyway, go to jen’s blog and read her two posts and then laugh at all the great comments she’s collecting. so awesome. and so right on.

worship songs i have trouble singing, part 1

worship songs i have trouble singing, part 2

my struggling thoughts on the Christian reaction to osama

well, you've heard it by now: osama bin laden, the face of terrorism over the last decade, was killed yesterday during a special operation of the united states military. since the news broke, i have wrestled with what my response to this news, as a Christian, should be. allow me a moment to organize my thoughts.

first of all, bin laden has received a just punishment. make no mistake: justice has been served. 

romans 13:3-4 niv
³ For rulers hold no terror for those who do right, but for those who do wrong. Do you want to be free from fear of the one in authority? Then do what is right and you will be commended. ⁴ For the one in authority is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for rulers do not bear the sword for no reason. They are God’s servants, agents of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer. 

i feel the government had every right to bring bin laden to justice. in fact, i'd even say it is one of their God-given duties.

here is where i begin to struggle:

last night, as the news broke, hundreds of my brothers and sisters in the faith began to celebrate…not necessarily because justice had been served, but because bin laden had been put to death. "may he rest in hell" and "i wonder how those virgins are treating him right now in hell" was a common sight last night on my facebook and twitter feeds. 

this is troubling to me. it seems to me that there may be a difference between rejoicing in justice and rejoicing in death.

proverbs 24:17 niv
¹⁷ Do not gloat when your enemy falls; 
   when they stumble, do not let your heart rejoice…

when i shared this verse on facebook last night, my friend nicole stated that she was not rejoicing in her death, but instead she was finding relief and hope in the news. she should feel this way…her husband is a soldier. she will sleep better tonight and he will be safer. 

and with her in this, i rejoice.

i feel we should rejoice, not in bin laden's death…but instead in the fact that justice has come and that we are, today, hopeful and relieved in a safer world. yes, bin laden was an enemy, but Jesus made very clear to us, his disciples, what our posture towards are enemies should be:

matthew 5:44 niv
But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you…

these moments force us to think through what we are feeling and thinking and, as Christians, to hold these thoughts and feelings up to the truth of the Bible. all of these thoughts in me are a work in progress. i'm getting there…somewhere…

what are your thoughts? where are you today with all this history unfolding around you?

has charlie sheen become his character?

a few weeks ago, my most recent article was published. in the article, i put forth a simple math formula:

location + time = character.

and since writing that article, i have often wondered in what other ways (besides abiding in God's word) this is true. 

i am wondering today if charlie sheen embodies this formula.

(in the interest of full disclosure: i have not read every article about charlie sheen over the last few weeks. i haven't even read lots of them…just enough to know that sheen seems to be self-destructing.)

sheen plays charlie harper on the sitcom "two and a half men." sheen's character is a womanizer. he drinks excessively. and, according to wikipedia, he lives a life of free-spirited debauchery. in fact, that same wikipedia article states that the character of charlie harper is loosely based on sheen himself.

sheen has played this character for 178 episodes, from 2003 until the present.

and i wonder…has sheen taken on the character of charlie harper in his personal life because he has placed himself in that "location" for such a long time? i would think it would be hard not to. you hear of writers who begin to think and act like their characters. and actors "become" their characters on camera. doing this over and over again, over the course of a long season…how could that not affect you in real life?

what do you think? 

the class of 2014’s mindset

every year, beloit college releases the 'beloit college mindset list.' from their own website, they say it 'provides a look at the cultural touchstones that shape the lives of students entering college this fall.' 

read this incredible list. for you old fogies, leave a comment regarding the facts you find most surprising (and the correlating number). what do some of these facts mean for those of us doing college ministry?

Most students entering college for the first time this fall—the Class of 2014—were born in 1992.

For these students, Benny Hill, Sam Kinison, Sam Walton, Bert Parks and Tony Perkins have always been dead.

1. Few in the class know how to write in cursive.

2. Email is just too slow, and they seldom if ever use snail mail.

3. “Go West, Young College Grad” has always implied “and don’t stop until you get to Asia…and learn Chinese along the way.”

4. Al Gore has always been animated.

5. Los Angelinos have always been trying to get along.

6. Buffy has always been meeting her obligations to hunt down Lothos and the other blood-suckers at Hemery High.

7. “Caramel macchiato” and “venti half-caf vanilla latte” have always been street corner lingo.

8. With increasing numbers of ramps, Braille signs, and handicapped parking spaces, the world has always been trying harder to accommodate people with disabilities.

9. Had it remained operational, the villainous computer HAL could be their college classmate this fall, but they have a better chance of running into Miley Cyrus’s folks on Parents’ Weekend.

10. A quarter of the class has at least one immigrant parent, and the immigration debate is not a big priority…unless it involves “real” aliens from another planet.

11. John McEnroe has never played professional tennis.

12. Clint Eastwood is better known as a sensitive director than as Dirty Harry.

13. Parents and teachers feared that Beavis and Butt-head might be the voice of a lost generation.

14. Doctor Kevorkian has never been licensed to practice medicine.

15. Colorful lapel ribbons have always been worn to indicate support for a cause.

16. Korean cars have always been a staple on American highways.

17. Trading Chocolate the Moose for Patti the Platypus helped build their Beanie Baby collection.

18. Fergie is a pop singer, not a princess.

19. They never twisted the coiled handset wire aimlessly around their wrists while chatting on the phone.

20. DNA fingerprinting and maps of the human genome have always existed.

21. Woody Allen, whose heart has wanted what it wanted, has always been with Soon-Yi Previn.

22. Cross-burning has always been deemed protected speech.

23. Leasing has always allowed the folks to upgrade their tastes in cars.

24. “Cop Killer” by rapper Ice-T has never been available on a recording.

25. Leno and Letterman have always been trading insults on opposing networks.

26. Unless they found one in their grandparents’ closet, they have never seen a carousel of Kodachrome slides.

27. Computers have never lacked a CD-ROM disk drive.

28. They’ve never recognized that pointing to their wrists was a request for the time of day.

29. Reggie Jackson has always been enshrined in Cooperstown.

30. “Viewer Discretion” has always been an available warning on TV shows.

31. The first computer they probably touched was an Apple II; it is now in a museum.

32. Czechoslovakia has never existed.

33. Second-hand smoke has always been an official carcinogen.

34. “Assisted Living” has always been replacing nursing homes, while Hospice has always been an alternative to hospitals.

35. Once they got through security, going to the airport has always resembled going to the mall.

36. Adhesive strips have always been available in varying skin tones.

37. Whatever their parents may have thought about the year they were born, Queen Elizabeth declared it an “Annus Horribilis.”

38. Bud Selig has always been the Commissioner of Major League Baseball.

39. Pizza jockeys from Domino’s have never killed themselves to get your pizza there in under 30 minutes.

40. There have always been HIV positive athletes in the Olympics.

41. American companies have always done business in Vietnam.

42. Potato has always ended in an “e” in New Jersey per vice presidential edict.

43. Russians and Americans have always been living together in space.

44. The dominance of television news by the three networks passed while they were still in their cribs.

45. They have always had a chance to do community service with local and federal programs to earn money for college.

46. Nirvana is on the classic oldies station.

47. Children have always been trying to divorce their parents.

48. Someone has always gotten married in space.

49. While they were babbling in strollers, there was already a female Poet Laureate of the United States.

50. Toothpaste tubes have always stood up on their caps.

51.  Food has always been irradiated.

52. There have always been women priests in the Anglican Church.

53. J.R. Ewing has always been dead and gone. Hasn’t he? 

54. The historic bridge at Mostar in Bosnia has always been a copy.

55. Rock bands have always played at presidential inaugural parties.

56. They may have assumed that parents’ complaints about Black Monday had to do with punk rockers from L.A., not Wall Street.

57. A purple dinosaur has always supplanted Barney Google and Barney Fife. 

58. Beethoven has always been a dog.

59. By the time their folks might have noticed Coca Cola’s new Tab Clear, it was gone.

60. Walmart has never sold handguns over the counter in the lower 48.

61. Presidential appointees have always been required to be more precise about paying their nannies’ withholding tax, or else.

62. Having hundreds of cable channels but nothing to watch has always been routine. 

63. Their parents’ favorite TV sitcoms have always been showing up as movies.

64. The U.S, Canada, and Mexico have always agreed to trade freely.

65. They first met Michelangelo when he was just a computer virus.

66. Galileo is forgiven and welcome back into the Roman Catholic Church.

67. Ruth Bader Ginsburg has always sat on the Supreme Court.

68. They have never worried about a Russian missile strike on the U.S.

69. The Post Office has always been going broke.

70. The artist formerly known as Snoop Doggy Dogg has always been rapping.

71. The nation has never approved of the job Congress is doing.

72. One way or another, “It’s the economy, stupid” and always has been.

73. Silicone-gel breast implants have always been regulated.

74. They’ve always been able to blast off with the Sci-Fi Channel.

75. Honda has always been a major competitor on Memorial Day at Indianapolis.